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07 March, 2010

Goodbyes

I can't believe I'm up right now. Seriously 4:40 this morning I was still wide awake and having trouble sleeping. Kalila woke me up wanting food though so here I am... It didn't hurt that she pointed out a "chicken" she heard (it was a rooster). I swear I have never heard one here, it was odd.

Anyways... The point of today's post... or this mornings one anyway...


I would really appreciate prayers for my family right now. My Grandma (on Grandma Rosie/my stepmom's side) passed away yesterday. 


Thankfully we did get to see her when we went down there a couple weeks ago (and I still plan on writing about that trip when I can) and Kalila got to meet her. She kinda did once before, but it was over a year ago & she had something like bronchitis at the time (I don't remember exactly, just that we didn't want to catch it) so it was through the truck window. This time she really got to meet her, even if it wasn't for very long. 


Of course that doesn't make me feel a lot better about not being down there right now. I wish I could be... I completely get why I can't. Its about a 6 hour drive or so, not something we can do very often period... and at this point (pregnancy wise) even harder.  But I still want to be w/ family. At one point last night Tia Banay called and I couldn't help it, I got that whole big sister I want to take care of things feeling, just wanted to give her a hug... I knew she needed it. But I couldn't, was on the phone. It just... bugged me? I don't know how to word it but it made me wish even more I was there. 


But on top of the whole trip thing, I know very well that's not a good idea. I kinda scared myself last night & realized that.  Gonna try to keep this short and where it'll make sense, but right before Babu called I had a short Pressure Wave (contraction). Wasn't long, no discomfort, I chalked it up to a practice one (braxton hicks), nothing new. I have them occasionally... usually at least once every day or two now. After he called, I called Baba back to let him know (long story, but he was at the store).  I've kinda figured I was going to "lose it" at some point, because I've been really calm about her being sick and everything for awhile and that's not really me... and that was when I did. I tried to calm down, knowing I needed too.. but a few minutes later I had another. I looked at the clock & realized it hadn't been too long since the last, counted it up and had only been 15 minutes. So I wrote that down and went on about stuff... when I had another 10 min later. At that point I started to worry. I knew it was cause I was so upset and made myself calm further, get up and move & get some water in me.  Thankfully there were no more after that.

Yes, I emailed the Birth Center (was really late at night & they'd stopped by then so I figured that would be good) and plan to talk to them about it at my appointment in a few days.

So yeah... going on a trip right now (even if we could) probably not the best idea. I need to stay calm and I know that. Plus I don't want everyone worrying about me. They've got enough to deal with right now and I shouldn't be added to it. 


Doesn't make it any easier though... 


Btw Baba, the sweetie that he is, is really doing his part to help out. He brought home chocolate and ice-cream and all that fun stuff last night. Tried to cheer me up, Kalila did too. They're pretty good at it. I'll have to write more about some of that later, but not right now. 

7 comments:

Cam said...

Prayers for your grandma!

On the contractions side, I had something very similar start with just over a month left when I was pregnant with Sadie. They were little contractions that hurt (although not like labor contractions hurt) and I had them pretty much every day for about a month and a half. On the day of my baby shower they were coming every few minutes regularly (it was still almost three weeks until Sadie was born). I called the doctor (and got the one who was on call) and she laughed at me because she said she could tell I wasn't in labor (and I was soooooooooo glad that she wasn't my doctor after that! because it's just not very sensitive to laugh at someone having contractions every few minutes!).

It did mean that I was 4 cm long before I went into labor though, so I think it sped things up! But it's definitely good that you have an email in to the Birth Center and hopefully they'll be able to put your mind at ease about it very soon!

I can't believe how fast it goes by and your ticker is already at 45 days! Wow!

Mama Kalila said...

Thank you

Glad you changed dr's, I would have too lol. I know of women who went into birth their babies and had similar reactions because they were so calm and everything only to find out they were much much farther along and had the babies soon after.

I can't believe its getting so close either though. It seems like yesterday we found out lol.

Stacy aka Fahiima said...

So sorry to hear about your grandma. I know its hard being far away from family when they need you. I am glad that she got to see Kalila once at least. Your due date is definitely approaching quickly! It would be awesome if you are already dialated quite a bit by the time you go in.

Mama Kalila said...

Yeah... Although I'm not sure how much they need me lol. I think its more the other way around.

And I'd better be pretty dialated when I go in. If I'm not its back home until I am ;-)

kim said...

sorry to hear about your grandma

Deborah said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandma, especially with now being a time when you can't go be with your extended family to comfort and be comforted. I'm glad that, even though you don't like not being there, you're confident in what you need to be doing now. Prayers for you and your family!

Mama Kalila said...

Kim & Deborah - Thanks :-)